I can't believe we made it this far...in the very early days I would read my twin mommy blogs and just pray that I would make it to 6 months as quickly as possible. Before you judge me, IT'S HARD WORK RAISING TWINFANTS! Seriously people...this is frickin' hard. Worth it, but not an easy task.
They turned 6 months today and I feel grateful to have them and pretty pleased with myself for having survived. At the mall on Saturday, an overweight woman came up to me and asked me if it's hard raising twinfants...I replied "Holy shit. I had no idea how hard it was until I lived through it. The first four months was impossible." Then I glanced at her belly and asked..."Are you pregnant with twins?" (I wish I would have noticed the belly first...I really thought she was just overweight.) She replied "Yes, I just found out yesterday that it's twins and I have a 5 y/o and an 11 m/o." I, of course, amended my statements and told her it's definitely manageable if you get them on the same schedule, blah blah blah.
I have never been successful getting them on the same schedule. I've lived 6 months with twins who have been on different schedules. She sleeps through the night with one feeding, feeds every 2.5-3 hrs throughout the day and naps every 2 hours. He wakes up twice a night, feeds every 4 hrs throughout the day and naps every 2.5 hours. Never could get them on the same schedule. Besides, they sleep in separate rooms because he always wakes her up. Now her sleep is protected and we all sleep better at night.
We are successfully implementing the Ferber sleep training technique. Can I just say 'FERBER ROCKS.' For real - this is amazing. If you recall, for the first 5 months my husband stayed up all night because my son was basically up every 45 minutes needing to be held, rocked, bounced, burped, whatever. It was always something. Last week I took a few days off and decided to sleep train for naps. I figured that if they learned to put themselves to sleep on their own (NO BOUNCY CHAIRS!!!) they would be able to put themselves back to sleep easier at night and not need us to bounce, hold, rock them every 45-min sleep cycle. Since then our lives have drastically improved. My son gets up once or twice a night and if he doesn't need to be fed or changed (he is offered a bottle numerous times before putting him back down) he is put back in his crib to cry it out. IT WORKS. (NOTE: They have figured out my breaking point during naps and they know I'm a softie. I need to work on that.) But hey - we're making progress! We can actually go to bed at a decent hour and sleep until 5am, sometimes 6am!!!! I could probably get another hour out of them if I kept them up later, but they're in bed by 6 (sometimes a little earlier) because neither wants that last nap around 2 or 3pm each day. By 5pm I'm tired of the whining and baths begin.
Looking back on the first 6 months, I seriously never thought it would get better. The drudgery of running 'shifts' with the babies was really, really wearing on me. DH from 9p-5a, ME from 5a - 9p (in between the nanny) and on the weekends it was just awful. I would be so exhausted and overwhelmed...I still can't believe we made it here. Things are manageable and improving every day. I am so blessed to have these babies. As much hard work as it is, I love them with every fiber of my being and I'm so very grateful for them. When I lost Kara, I lost the will to live. M & Q saved my life.
Christmas was hard. Besides the fact that we had 5 days straight with no nanny (before sleep training) we were run ragged with lack of sleep and lack of help every day. On top of that, we didn't visit relatives because the twins don't sleep well at my in-laws 2 states away and they had 60 people over for Christmas Eve. (yes, 6-0) WAY too many people for me with newborn twins. So, after putting the babies to bed, DH and I cried our hearts out together on the couch listening to Johnny Mathis singing 'Blue Christmas' and thinking of Kara and everything she missed out on. It takes my breath away to think of everything she missed. Kisses, hugs, snuggles, sunshine, stroller rides, playgrounds, kindergarten, school, college, boyfriends, proms, sports, a family of her own, children and grandchildren. The list goes on and on. We thought of our lost daughter and cried a lot that night. So yes, even though we're happy to have our lives filled with children, we will always grieve the child we lost. Every lovely memory of M&Q will be bittersweet because Kara will never have that moment, that memory. It's so fucking unfair. She didn't even get a chance. DH & I have become jaded about death, even in the very young. When we hear about a teen dying young, or a young adult whose passed, it's always "At least they had that many years. Kara didn't even get a day." So Christmas was very bittersweet for us, trying to enjoy the moment with M&Q while remembering our angel and crying for all that she (and we) lost. I don't imagine it will ever get any easier.
I will post pictures in my next update. I wish everyone a Happy New Year.
They turned 6 months today and I feel grateful to have them and pretty pleased with myself for having survived. At the mall on Saturday, an overweight woman came up to me and asked me if it's hard raising twinfants...I replied "Holy shit. I had no idea how hard it was until I lived through it. The first four months was impossible." Then I glanced at her belly and asked..."Are you pregnant with twins?" (I wish I would have noticed the belly first...I really thought she was just overweight.) She replied "Yes, I just found out yesterday that it's twins and I have a 5 y/o and an 11 m/o." I, of course, amended my statements and told her it's definitely manageable if you get them on the same schedule, blah blah blah.
I have never been successful getting them on the same schedule. I've lived 6 months with twins who have been on different schedules. She sleeps through the night with one feeding, feeds every 2.5-3 hrs throughout the day and naps every 2 hours. He wakes up twice a night, feeds every 4 hrs throughout the day and naps every 2.5 hours. Never could get them on the same schedule. Besides, they sleep in separate rooms because he always wakes her up. Now her sleep is protected and we all sleep better at night.
We are successfully implementing the Ferber sleep training technique. Can I just say 'FERBER ROCKS.' For real - this is amazing. If you recall, for the first 5 months my husband stayed up all night because my son was basically up every 45 minutes needing to be held, rocked, bounced, burped, whatever. It was always something. Last week I took a few days off and decided to sleep train for naps. I figured that if they learned to put themselves to sleep on their own (NO BOUNCY CHAIRS!!!) they would be able to put themselves back to sleep easier at night and not need us to bounce, hold, rock them every 45-min sleep cycle. Since then our lives have drastically improved. My son gets up once or twice a night and if he doesn't need to be fed or changed (he is offered a bottle numerous times before putting him back down) he is put back in his crib to cry it out. IT WORKS. (NOTE: They have figured out my breaking point during naps and they know I'm a softie. I need to work on that.) But hey - we're making progress! We can actually go to bed at a decent hour and sleep until 5am, sometimes 6am!!!! I could probably get another hour out of them if I kept them up later, but they're in bed by 6 (sometimes a little earlier) because neither wants that last nap around 2 or 3pm each day. By 5pm I'm tired of the whining and baths begin.
Looking back on the first 6 months, I seriously never thought it would get better. The drudgery of running 'shifts' with the babies was really, really wearing on me. DH from 9p-5a, ME from 5a - 9p (in between the nanny) and on the weekends it was just awful. I would be so exhausted and overwhelmed...I still can't believe we made it here. Things are manageable and improving every day. I am so blessed to have these babies. As much hard work as it is, I love them with every fiber of my being and I'm so very grateful for them. When I lost Kara, I lost the will to live. M & Q saved my life.
Christmas was hard. Besides the fact that we had 5 days straight with no nanny (before sleep training) we were run ragged with lack of sleep and lack of help every day. On top of that, we didn't visit relatives because the twins don't sleep well at my in-laws 2 states away and they had 60 people over for Christmas Eve. (yes, 6-0) WAY too many people for me with newborn twins. So, after putting the babies to bed, DH and I cried our hearts out together on the couch listening to Johnny Mathis singing 'Blue Christmas' and thinking of Kara and everything she missed out on. It takes my breath away to think of everything she missed. Kisses, hugs, snuggles, sunshine, stroller rides, playgrounds, kindergarten, school, college, boyfriends, proms, sports, a family of her own, children and grandchildren. The list goes on and on. We thought of our lost daughter and cried a lot that night. So yes, even though we're happy to have our lives filled with children, we will always grieve the child we lost. Every lovely memory of M&Q will be bittersweet because Kara will never have that moment, that memory. It's so fucking unfair. She didn't even get a chance. DH & I have become jaded about death, even in the very young. When we hear about a teen dying young, or a young adult whose passed, it's always "At least they had that many years. Kara didn't even get a day." So Christmas was very bittersweet for us, trying to enjoy the moment with M&Q while remembering our angel and crying for all that she (and we) lost. I don't imagine it will ever get any easier.
I will post pictures in my next update. I wish everyone a Happy New Year.
