When will I feel like living again? Will this empty, aching sadness ever leave me? At times I feel like my chest will explode with the heartache and emptiness of losing my daughter. I have no will to live and wish I could just disappear.
When Kara died, something inside me shattered into a million pieces. Some pieces are lost forever. I will never be the person I once was, I am forever changed. I look in the mirror and don't recognize the tired, sad face looking back at me.
How do people live through this? I'll never understand how one gets through the grief associated with the loss of a child. I am lost and bereft, miserable in my existence. I have failed as a human being, as a mother. My child died before I could give birth to her - how can I live with that? My arms are empty and my heart aches with the loss of my baby. I wish I could just disappear and be done with this life.
2 comments:
Girl you just took the words right out of my mouth. **HUG** We can get through this. **HUG**
my whole heart to you. i clearly remember feeling the intensity of failing as a mother and a woman and a partner and on and on. just aching. for whatever it is worth, i will say, just for me personally, that now at 10 years out, i found ways. i discovered that though i did not become the mother i thought i would -- i became a different kind of parent, and the expression of my love for my child continues -- every single day. just sending you lots of good supportive vibes...k-
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