Wow - this is really, insanely hard. And I have help during the week, and a husband who lets me sleep 8 hours at night - and this is horribly difficult.
I'm not enjoying it, mostly. I have moments where I do enjoy it - mainly when I have someone else here to help hold one while I focus on the other. I melt inside when I get those smiles and when they interact with me. But I had no idea how hard this would be.
When I'm alone with them, I keep the X.a.n.ax on hand because I mentally breakdown and I'm unable to hold it together.
If I had only one, I could feed, play, and rock/hold/swing/sway, etc. that one to sleep. Having two ALONE is ridiculously hard. You get one down and the other is screaming and wakes the first one up. It goes on and on like that all day long. I am on pins & needles until I have help.
And they're still in the living room, sleep on the couch (supervised) on the floor (supervised) in their bouncy chairs or swings, because they won't go in their cribs. I'm hoping maybe at 12 or 16 weeks that will happen. Right now, it's just impossible.
Anyway - we're hanging in there, but I feel like a shit because I'm struggling and not really enjoying myself most of the time. I only enjoy it when there is help, which there is NONE of on the weekends.
16 comments:
You're getting through the worst times and these are ABSOLUTELY the worst times. twins are so much harder than anyone with a singleton can imagine. The crying is the worst part...sleeping comes next. We used the bouncy chairs, swings, floors, and rarely cribs.
Hold on and order an ergo NOW! We actually got ours from Twomommiesdesigns (a buckle tai). As SOON as they have neck control, start wearing one on your back. He/she will sleep LONG HOURS quietly....and you can HOLD THE OTHER ONE and/or put him/her to sleep.
If you get two, you can wear one on your back and your dh or other help can wear the other.
It was the absolutely best thing we've ever done. Twins MOMs have to have these!
Good luck!
Agree with the PP, an Ergo will help you so much. I know you are dealing with hard times right now, and as they say "this too shall pass", although I know it's hard to really believe it.
Aww, Hon. (sending you hugs) I'm sorry that things are so tough right now. I'll echo what the others have said... it will get better. The first few months are extremely difficult. I struggled with one munchkin, I can't imagine trying to handle two. You deserve a lot of credit.
Rose
OH MY GOD I HEAR YA!!!
I'm on my own for the whole week but at least I have the night nanny to help me out. and chocolate. and SSRI's. and chocolate!!
There should be free mental health support for twin moms.
Hang in there babe. It is crap right now but we gotta believe it gets better ;-)
It is VERY, VERY grueling!!! I agree it is the hardest work I have ever done. And I went to law school full time and worked full time.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself to enjoy every single second - somedays it is just survival. I did not realize it but I went without showering from Tuesday through Saturday...oh well.
((HUGS))
It is VERY, VERY grueling!!! I agree it is the hardest work I have ever done. And I went to law school full time and worked full time.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself to enjoy every single second - somedays it is just survival. I did not realize it but I went without showering from Tuesday through Saturday...oh well.
((HUGS))
I know I can't possibly understand what it is like to have twins, but I understand how tough the introduction to (live baby) motherhood is. You're tired. You're grieving. You never imagined these babies would make it and now they are miraculously here and demand every bit of your energy and attention. It is exhausting and no wonder you sometimes feel like it is all too much.
There is only one of Angus, but he was certainly a very, very fussy newborn and even at 10 months, he still keeps me very much on my toes.
I will say it again - you are doing a fabulous job and I can certainly echo what everyone else says in that it will get easier. You will also grow in confidence and once those babies start giggling, clapping and really interacting with you, you will find it so much fun. You will hardly remember this time. I know I don't! I think that is how we as a species survive! No one would have any more otherwise.
I admire you for saying how tough it is. Because often when we are babylost, we are too afraid to go there for fear of sounding ungrateful. I know you are anything but ungrateful. You just have to get through this tough time. And you will.
If I could come and give you some practical support I would, but for now, I just offer a listening ear, love and hugs across the miles.
xo
I can't imagine how difficult two must be. I can say that with one good little baby boy, I have dark, puffy bags under my eyes every day. I have been tired and frustrated to the point of tears. I have missed meals and showers and just the other day I realized that if I didn't tweeze my eyebrows soon, they were going to grow down to my eyelashes and over to my ears!
How in the world can anyone manage to double the work load?! And have a colicky baby, no less? I don't know. But you are doing it. Infancy is precious, beautiful, and hard as hell. I read the comment about the Ergo. I hope it helps.
I am sure this is easier said than done, but please be easy on yourself at this time! My sister had twins and in the beginning she had to have someone extra present to help her all the time!
This is horrible for me to admit this, but when I first had my daughter (a singleton mind you) the first weeks were so hard--I just didnt know what I was doing with this new creature, how to comfort her, I was sleep deprived and had PPD (thought didn't acknowledge this and didnt take meds at the time). I can remember my closest sister coming by to visit and I looked at her bewildered and said "just when do I start to really love her?" I feel horrible when I think about this now because my dd (who is 4) is now the complete LOVE of my life.
You WILL get through this time, hang in there and listen to those other Moms of twins!
Colleen
It gets easier... I promise. You are doing great!
Just wanted to add--the first 6 weeks are the hardest. Then after 3 months it gets better. And then after 6 months...it starts to get easy. I promise you!!
And from what I've heard and my own experience--you will not remember anything about this time. Seriously. I really don't recall much from a year ago. :-)
Just checking in to see how you are doing. It WILL get easier I promise and soon.
I understand. No one told me that even with a loss, I'd still find this mommy thing incredibly hard. I've learned that it's okay to say it's tough. It's okay to need a break. My little Nora is incredibly demanding. She cries ALL day long. I wear her little 13 pound body on mine all day long (in a Moby carrier). Sometimes it takes me 3 hours to get her to sleep. And, boy this girl hates to eat. She is refusing to nurse, so I am pumping 5-6 times a day. I have to let her watch TV so she doesn't cry when I'm pumping. Sometimes, I feel like everything is a struggle. In a way, I feel like it could be my fault. Perhaps the stress I felt in my pregnancy, shaped her into one uptight little baby. And, this is just with one baby. I imagine, two is infinitely harder. Hang in there, mama!
don't judge yourself...it is hard. the first three months are the hardest for sure and you have TWO. i wish you had full time help. just know this is the hardest time. you will get through it. cherish those quiet moments and smiles and take care of yourself.
xoxo
I thought it was just me and my twins. Your post made mr cry with relief that I am not the only one going through this and I now know I will get there...someday. Somedays when mine are sleeping it is easier take care of me or the house and usually the house wins. I feel like I'm fighting an incredible uphill battle. I'm glad I'm not alone. Most google ergo before the crying starts again.
Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. I hope things have gotten better over the last couple of weeks.
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