Happy Mother's Day to all of my Babylost mama friends, and to those friends with live children at home. It's been a wonderful day here and unbelievably relaxed and pleasant.
I know I owe this blog an update and I am committed to updating more regularly, but it seems the time just gets away from me.
So on Thrusday, I received a Mother's Day card from my dad & stepmom. I was so touched, but then inside it said 'On Your First Mother's Day'. Well, I broke down and cried. This is my THIRD Mother's Day. It may not seem much to you if you haven't lost a child, but imagine...you lose a child and have no living children at home...you are still a mother, right? So now I have two living children at home and all of sudden it's my first Mother's Day. Yup. Made me a mess. I KNOW they haven't forgotten Kara...but have they forgotten that I'm still her mother? Well, the next day, they sent me flowers, WITH THE SAME MESSAGE! Happy First Mother's Day! Another tearful moment. The flowers were so thoughtful, but the message just bit me in the ass.
Let's face it, it wasn't a happy day when my only child was no with us, but I was still a mother. Burns my ass.
Twins are doing great! I am loving being a mom to living children. I cannot believe how much more I love them every single day. Q has taken his first steps without help, and M is standing and pulling herself up on everything. Eating is still a challenge for her - she prefers her bottle over any solids, but both a happy and healthy and great kids.
The weather has been lovely and we are walking as much as we can. Kids love being outside in the gorgeous weather; bare feet in the wind and hair blowing in the breeze. Love it.
This Mother's Day has been the best ever. I am blessed with three gorgeous children. Two here with me and one looking out for us in Heaven.
I miss her every second of every day, but that is a post for another day. I've been struggling with her loss (have I ever stopped?) and can't accept the magnitude of her loss. I will post about this soon as it's something ruminating in my mind over and over.
M & Q are getting big - below is a picture of them on Easter in their finest. My lovely babies.
I know I owe this blog an update and I am committed to updating more regularly, but it seems the time just gets away from me.
So on Thrusday, I received a Mother's Day card from my dad & stepmom. I was so touched, but then inside it said 'On Your First Mother's Day'. Well, I broke down and cried. This is my THIRD Mother's Day. It may not seem much to you if you haven't lost a child, but imagine...you lose a child and have no living children at home...you are still a mother, right? So now I have two living children at home and all of sudden it's my first Mother's Day. Yup. Made me a mess. I KNOW they haven't forgotten Kara...but have they forgotten that I'm still her mother? Well, the next day, they sent me flowers, WITH THE SAME MESSAGE! Happy First Mother's Day! Another tearful moment. The flowers were so thoughtful, but the message just bit me in the ass.
Let's face it, it wasn't a happy day when my only child was no with us, but I was still a mother. Burns my ass.
Twins are doing great! I am loving being a mom to living children. I cannot believe how much more I love them every single day. Q has taken his first steps without help, and M is standing and pulling herself up on everything. Eating is still a challenge for her - she prefers her bottle over any solids, but both a happy and healthy and great kids.
The weather has been lovely and we are walking as much as we can. Kids love being outside in the gorgeous weather; bare feet in the wind and hair blowing in the breeze. Love it.
This Mother's Day has been the best ever. I am blessed with three gorgeous children. Two here with me and one looking out for us in Heaven.
I miss her every second of every day, but that is a post for another day. I've been struggling with her loss (have I ever stopped?) and can't accept the magnitude of her loss. I will post about this soon as it's something ruminating in my mind over and over.
M & Q are getting big - below is a picture of them on Easter in their finest. My lovely babies.
5 comments:
I seriously don't know what comes over people and the degree of insensitivity. I get not knowing what to say, but it's the saying the wrong thing that is the problem.
I am sorry and I know that the intention was not to hurt you. I think that the 'older' generation's way of dealing with grief and tragedy is to not acknowledge. And, maybe they thought if they did, that would make you sad. I don't know and I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm sorry that the it brought you pain.
I love that dress on baby girl. So cute.
Your babies are beautiful. All three. Happy mother's day.
xo
I read this post last night and then today got a card that said the same thing. not only "Happy first Mothers Days" but also "To the new mom". I am feeling your sting now more than I thought I did when I read your post. And it was from a younger woman.
Q and M look perfectly gorgeous in their Easter best! I was so happy to see a post from you and to know your family is doing well. But yes, of course the "first mother's day" comment must have hurt tremendously - failing to acknowledge Kara as your first child, the one you carried and parented every moment you could, and a child you still love and always will. I'm so sorry that your joy is always tempered with pain. I'm afraid those who don't understand never will quite get it. Perhaps the only solace is in knowing that Kara knows you are still her mommy.
First, how cute are they???? I just love when babies get more and more adorable the bigger they get.
Secondly, I am sorry that your card brought you more sadness than happiness. I am glad though, that your Mother's Day was so wonderful.
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