Friday, April 17, 2009
Smashed Beyond Repair
My life is smashed beyond all repair. Like a crystal vase that has broken into a million pieces. Like a car that is totaled - beyond fixing. Like a favorite toy that can't be put back together again. You try and try and try again, but fixing it is impossible. Each day, new band-aids are put on the wound, but eventually they fall off and you're left feeling raw and wounded again, an open festering sore that just won't heal. I feel like it's not even worth fixing anymore - it's beyond repair.
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11 comments:
I know. I know. :(
Beautifully said. I am so sorry for your pain.
You're right I don't think it's (the healing) ever gonna be completely done this side of Heaven. But I do have some days better than others. And I can smile and laugh now. But I still cry EVERYDAY, and have for these past 32 1/2 months.
My grief is so complicated; it seems I keep covering the same ground over and over and over and over! When I get to a resolution of one of my agonizing questions (e.g., Was my faith lacking? Is that why this happened?), I feel relief, and then I realize - but I've gotten resolution on this before!!???!! I wonder why such comforts don't settle in to stay??? I guess it's like they say - Grief takes so much longer than you ever thought it would . . . or could!
God bless you and comfort you in your pain. Thank you for sharing your heart so candidly!
Hugs . . .
Angie
It is so hard. So, very, very hard. I'm sorry you feel smashed up and broken right now. We are all here for you to help gather together any pieces that may still have a place in your life, or to help form new ones. Sending love and peace.
(((Hugs)))
Yep, my pieces don't fit back together either.
I'm so sorry.
Wishing peace your way.
xxx
These days are so hard....
Wishing you strength today and always.
xo
((((((hugs)))))) I'm sorry.
B, I'm sorry. I wish there was something we could do to change the way things are now. :(
(I wasn't sure if you'd want me posting here. You know how you and I felt when others got their BFP. But I'm terrified B, terrified that this won't last either. My 6th BFP now. Life is too much of an unknown to feel truly joyful.)
Sending you some major hugs and love.
xx
i feel smashed too. shattered. i feel like a completely different person living a very different life.
one thing that brings me some sense of sanity is the idea that in being smashed and shattered and dying in this life, dying in this loss, we will somehow come through with new colors and textures and growth.
a wise rabbi once said 'there is nothing more whole than a broken heart'.
i'm here with you
xo
My heart goes out to you.
EB
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break. ~William Shakespeare
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