Post Retrieval Upate - IVF#7

Just a quick update on my 7th (yes, 7th!) IVF cycle. First off - I love my RE. He is a sweetheart, and utterly adorable. Always excellent bedside manner, always hopeful for me, always remembering that I lost my baby last year. Dr. Sweet retrieved 5 eggs on Monday, 4 were mature, 3 fertilized. Tomorrow, they go for their first big test - PGD. By Friday evening (or more likely Saturday morning) I'll know if any of the embryos are genetically healthy. I don't hold out much hope.

When I began this IVF journey almost 3 years ago, upon our first retrieval it was evident that my eggs were old. None fertilized and the idiot RE at that time didn't perform ICSI. ::Thanks for wasting my money:: Changed clinics, found SHER Institutes for Reproductive Medicine and have been there for the last 6 cycles.

May '07 - 2nd IVF - 5 eggs, all fertilized, PGD: 0 normal.
Sept '07 - 3rd IVF - 5 eggs, 3 fertilized, PGD: 1 normal. This was my baby Kara, who died in the womb at 37weeks 3 days.
Oct '08 - 4th IVF - 5 eggs, 3 fertilized, PGD: 0 normal.
Jan '09 - 5th IVF - 6 eggs, 4 fertilized, PGD: 1 normal. BFN
Apr '09 - 6th IVF - 7 eggs, 5 fertilized, PGD: 0 normal.
July '09 - 7th IVF - 5 eggs, 3 fertilized, PGD: ?

Injectible hormones have bloated me up like a balloon. I have a kangaroo pouch that I can't get rid of because every 2 1/2 months I'm on the drugs again. I am SO done with this. It's exhausting mentally & physically, and my self esteem suffers greatly while I'm cycling. (I have to think it's the Estrogen getting injected into my ass every other day.) Don't get me wrong - if I thought I was going to have a baby this way, I'd continue trying and injecting and riding the hormonal rollercoaster and being overweight. It's all for a great cause. But let's look at the history, people. These eggs are freaking past their due date. It's time for me to move on.

So I've picked out a donor - and I actually have hope that the end of the IVF-road is near for me. Of course, then I still have to actually take a live baby home at the end - I still can't believe I might get to do that. It seems impossibly far away and unrealistic for me. However, I am surviving this cycle better than I have survived 6 previous cycles (except on #3 when I conceived Kara) and its because I've decided to do DE. The decision was not made lightly. Our insurance only covered 2 cycles and we've paid out of pocket for the last 5. Again, if someone told me I had to spend $xx,xxx to conceive my own child - I would spend whatever sum they named. But this is a crap shoot and I'm not getting any younger. I gave it my best shot and I'm moving on. I'm in awe that I found a young, proven donor who looks like me, and who is willing to go through the IVF process to give another woman the gift of life. Its amazing to me - a miracle. Their compensation is not enough to give up their eggs, really. Its an act of love, an unselfish act that is amazing to me. I am in awe of these women.

So we wait for Saturday for the PGD news. But in the meantime, I'll keep shooting up Progesterone while keeping my expectations low. I know to not expect anything anymore. Any positive news is a big fat bonus.