Here I am, almost at 32 weeks. I can't believe it. I'm so close to meeting my babies I can't stand it. It's like Christmas when I was a little girl. I used to be so inpatient for Christmas morning that the month of December felt like an entire year!
And while I'm super-excited, I'm also super-uncomfortable. It gets worse every couple of days. There are days when I can FEEL my body stretching, trying to accomodate their growth, and those days are horrible. Sleeping through the night is just a memory at this point. I get up every 60-90 minutes or so because of the hip pain (which is largely under control, but still annoying) and to pee. Some nights I'll wake up at 3am and just have to read until daylight because I can't get back to sleep. But I'd take insomnia over the physical discomforts.
Like my edema. My hands are like little balloons, all the time. They hurt to brush my teeth, shampoo my hair, grab a fork - and forget about trying to write with a pen. When I sleep, my entire arm goes numb (whichever side I'm laying on) and this pretty much wakes me up when it's not the hip pain or the peeing.
My belly is now a strange shade of purple. No stretch marks yet, but definitely the skin is so stetched and hard that the skin is slightly purple. I wish I could unstrap my belly and just BREATHE for a while. Phew. This is hard work.
My knees protest like an 80-year old woman's. It's hard carrying around all this weight!
My heels have started to hurt - I have to wear sneakers everywhere I go- flip flops make my heels feel like the tendons inside are going to snap every time I take a step. Sneakers = diffculty putting socks on = difficulty getting sneaks on. No fun.
My back continuously hurts from carrying around all this weight. I am seriously done with this.
Let's face it ladies - pregnancy is no fun. I just don't understand women who love it. I mean, don't get me wrong - it's definitely a means to an end - MY BABIES! But seriously - does it have to be THIS HARD?
I can't even nest properly. I mean - I have cribs, bassinetts, crib mattresses and bedding, swings, etc. just sitting in their boxes in my living room - right where the F.ed E.x guy left them. I am dying to see them all set up, but I look at everything and I'm just winded. I guess it's something I have to out-source to family, but I feel awful doing it. My husband is afraid to put anything together for fear it will jinx the babies and they'll die. He is so afraid - as am I. But unlike him, I can feel them move (almost constantly) and so I am less afraid than he is. Granted, their hearts could stop at any moment and we wouldn't have any warning (just like Kara). But we are so close....It's a daily battle to look at all the new 'goodies' for the kids and to be paralyzed to set them up, for fear that we'll just have to break them down again if the babies die. I know it's morbid, but once you baby dies - everything in your life is colored by that experience.
SO, I'm hanging in there and looking forward to the U/S on Monday when they can tell me their weights. I'm really looking forward to knowing how much weight I'm carrying around in there. But more importantly, I want to know how big they are and how big they will be by birth. I'm getting excited~!
7 comments:
I love pregnancy, but my love for it took a severe battering the second time around, mostly because of the gripping fear I carried with me each day and the firm knowledge that it could all go wrong at any given moment without warning. And I also didn't have to carry two babies at once - that makes it hard and I take my hat off to you.
You are so very close now. Soon it will be single figure days to count down. I'm counting down with you.
With love and hope.
xo
I could barely move during my third tri, much less nest!!! It is hard - it is brutal. I hope you find some ways to get relief - and I am so happy that you get to meet your sweeties in 31 days!
BTW, I hate to sound like a nudge, but the sleep you are getting now is the best sleep you will have in a LONG time!!!!! I am in an altered reality at this point - it is not entirely unpleasant, almost like being on valium 24/7.
Amen sista. I never understood how people can love their pregnancies but I honestly think the birth of our child melts some of the bad moments out of our memories LOL anxiously awaiting your happy ending! Good luck!
Two babies makes for an discomfort I'm sure. Not much longer now.
I remember having hip pain with Liam. I was supposed to sleep on my sides but the pain was so bad I ended up sleeping in a semi-sitting position with who knows how many pillows propping me up.
I also had insomnia which got me up nearly every night around 3am.
My favorite shoes were crocks for keeping my feet happy and comfy - could still slip those on - no laces!
And the peeing? I knew every bathroom location at at every store I entered and usually made it my first stop!
Pregnancy was not my favorite condition to be in, but I wish I would have tried to enjoy it more now that I know that was my only chance...
Good luck! You are getting so close!
Hang in there, you are so close!
You poor darling...your discomfort sounds over the top! I remember thinking my belly skin was stretched to the limit - and I was carrying only one. You're in the home stretch and soon you'll be holding your babies while your husband rubs your recovering,swollen feet....right?
Wow, the stress on your body sounds unreal. I'm sorry it's been so awful. I hope the next month flies by and that you can find some relief here and there as you get ready to welcome Kara's siblings to the world.
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